“A Bugger Of A disease” – By My Dad

I sometimes worry about sharing so much of our family’s story. I know it is not everyone’s choice of therapy. My need to write, to expunge the fear and grief through words is a very personal thing.

I think I get it from my dad!

My dad has always been supporter of my blog, and occasionally he has contributed to it with his own thoughts. He has a natural way with words and expresses himself so honestly and beautifully.

He has asked that I post this – his latest blog post. 

I am very proud.

“A Bugger of A Disease!” – By My Dad

15th June 2020

It has been quite a while since I have put pen to paper but with self isolating and my recent diagnosis I’ve plenty of time to crystallize my thoughts to the followers of Sarah’s blog.

A sudden change of fortunes to my health (to say the least) has made me realize the importance of family and how they put down tools and come up (S, E, and C) and over (Sh.) to help me out, take me to appointments not forgetting cleaning, cooking and dog walking !

Indeed I feel very lucky to have such a caring and loving crew.

Three sessions of chemotherapy has made me feel rather knackeroodo at times, but I remain optimistic with regard to outcome. I’m seeing the oncologist this week to go over the further scan I had last week post treatment. All being well (fingers and toes crossed) I will have my 2nd  run of iv magic after this review. If “things” are looking not so good this may well be delayed or perhaps discontinued.

20th June 2020

Update dear readers – the recent scan showed no improvement (perhaps a little worse) and this coupled with very swollen legs and tummy indicates lymph node spread.

Chemotherapy, both oral and intravenous, are being stopped and strong analgesics substituted.

I have had a wonderful life but it is very hard to leave (months rather than years) our 3 and their beautiful 8 grandchildren behind.

As I sit here in the conservatory looking at the soft hills, the sun shining in the morning light and the gentle twitter of the garden birds looking for their breakfast, I’m accepting this dagger blow with resilience and fortitude.

However, those left behind will I’m sure take  long time to recover both from me suddenly developing such a bugger of a disease and their mum and granny living in a world full of chaos and solitude.

The children have been fantastic in helping me, although I know their hearts are pining and wishing that this is all a dream. God bless them all.

I’m up in St. Andrews for a few days with Sheila (a kind and wonderful sister) and John to spoil me. The sun is shining once again although I will not appreciate its warmth when my two little rascals and their lab. go for a long walk as I’m feeling a bit tired after my bacon and egg breakfast.

Perhaps I will not enjoy the view nor the pleasure of  future times but I will still remember friends and family from above the clouds who have given me great happiness and love.

I see Sarah has sneaked a few words of wisdom before my memories but please don’t cry or be distressed as I have accepted my fate and only thank you all who have made my life so unique and unforgettable.

All my love
Stephen.