About

family2

My name is Sarah Stoner. I am a wife, working mother of 3, sister, friend and daughter. My life and that of all my family was turned upside down when, in April 2015 my mother was diagnosed with vascular dementia.

She was 64.

I started this blog in February 2016, mainly to record my feelings and to log all the strange things that were happening. I have a habit, you see, of blocking out memories that are painful, (perhaps we all do) and I realised, as I recorded my dark thoughts yet again, on the notes section on my iPhone, that I don’t want to forget anything. I want to remember how bloody difficult it is, how stressful and heartbreaking each step of this journey is, so that one day, I can look back and be proud of how we coped as a family. Proud of how we pulled together, despite all the odds and came through it together.

We will come through it.

But, at the moment, we are still in it.

I also wanted to record my memories of my mother as she was, before dementia stole her from us. I’m not sure how she would feel about me sharing, so openly, some of our family stories, her brilliance, her failings, her utterly magnificent humanity.

I hope she would be proud of me.

My friends – who knew my mother well – tell me she would be proud of me.

Maybe that is why I write too.

To make her proud.

Dementia Stole Her From Us

So, welcome to my blog. I hope it helps those of you who are also struggling with dementia in your family.

I hope it makes you smile and makes you remember in your darkest moments that you are not alone and there are others who are with you every step of the way; willing you on, cheering and applauding you wildly for your determination, your bravery, your courage and your strength to carry on, despite your shattered heart.

Sarah x

10 thoughts on “About

  1. Oh what to say… this is a beautifully written, succinct tiny window into something no one can ever understand unless they’re living it I guess. You sound like an amazing family, much like my own and I cannot fathom how I would cope if this happened to me. Reading around the subject is so confusing and frightening and so little still is known about this disease that at times it must seem hopeless.
    I am a friend of your sister Emma and what makes me cry with an equal measure of sympathy and hope is that to someone like me who never knew your mum it sounds like that heroine you describe IS Emma. Although there will be a long road of struggle ahead for the four of you, you should take huge comfort in that all those things you miss about her are carrying on through you and her grandchildren. This I’m sure, mum as she was, and mum now from time to time is enormously proud x

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  2. Hi Sarah,

    Love your words, I to can relate to all you are saying, my mum also was diagnosed last year at the age of 70 years with Alzheimers and vascular dementia, she had been misdiagnosis for many years with depression which I never believed she had…it’s devastated our family and although I have never been very close to my mum it’s heartbreaking to know that I will never now get that chance, but nobody deserves this disease it’s truly horrid…my mum was an amazingly intelligent strong healthy caring lady, worked in the RAF in her younger days where she travelled the world and loved life to the full, she now talks about those days like they were yesterday….
    If I could have just one wish in the world at the moment it would be to find a cure for this horrible illness so we could have our mum, nana back and my dad could have his soul mate back to spend what should be a happy retirement with.

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  3. That is so beautifully written sweetheart. A Blog is a perfect way to talk without talking.
    I found this after Hartley.
    Although we’ve never spoken about your mum, you have a little seat in my heart and I think about you often….
    😘

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  4. This breaks my heart. I remember your mum as being so vibrant and full of love and life … She put me to shame on the dance floor! But I will cherish the memories of how welcoming and kind she always was, along with the rest of your amazing family. And you know even though we don’t see eachother often enough, I’m always here for you bird. If you just want to rant, need a hug or just want to talk about the weather …always here xxx
    Big love to you all x

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  5. Hi Sarah I’m currently having the pleasure helping looking after your mum, whilst your dad has a wee break. I noticed when I was looking through your mum’s notes about your blog. Reading this has helped give me a better understanding of your mum before this awful nasty illness took over. It’s always nice to read about their life. Thank you and keep it up. X

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    1. Thank you so much for your message, Ann. I find my blog helps me cope and I am told it helps other who are on this journey too. I hope my mum is behaving herself? I miss her dreadfully.
      Sarah x

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