Dear Sis….

12th August 2015.
I have been here most of the week and will leave tomorrow, leaving The Crazy and Dad for a few days until you arrive next week. Good luck with your visit…. know that you will cry every day, you will drink too much wine and you will feel constantly anxious.
Other things to know:
You will answer the phone to Freda every other day. You will chat to her like she is an old friend purely because she knew mum and therefore is mum, in a weird way. She knew her and loved her before we even existed. Now, this is strangely comforting but can also be upsetting and at times is very surreal….. I haven’t seen or spoken to Freda in 13 years and that was at Clive’s wedding. Before then, I was probably 14 or 15?! And now I answer the phone like she is my oldest, dearest friend. I strain for the tiniest and most insignificant memories she may let slip. I wait to hear about an anecdote I haven’t heard before. I am like an expectant hound waiting for its bone….desperate to be fed news about a mum I no longer know. It is a comfort and at the same time it is deeply depressing.
Keep smiling dearest sis – Onwards and upwards xxx

 

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