The Day Has Come

By my dad……..

Well the day has come!

Unfortunately I injured my lower back (a possible prolapsed disc) whilst helping Ethel – one of the lovely carers – in the bathroom.

Jane has become very reluctant and even distraught and aggressive when asked to remove her nightwear and get her day clothes on in the morning. This means that for some time now I have had to help the home care ladies try and lift her. So, just over a week ago, I was slightly crunched in the corner trying to help change her clothes, whilst¬† Ethel was calming her down verbally, when I twisted and ” something went ” in my lower back. A Physiotherapist and an O. T. came the following day quickly and brought various appliances to help my mobility. My GP thought I had bulged my disc on my L side and gave me appropriate treatment.

This was not at all what I was wanted as Jane’s admission was all organised for today -the 31st of July.

However my wonderful sister, Sheila and brother-in-law, John came to the rescue and we managed to arrange admission early – Jane went up to the care home last Wednesday.

A very sad day for all of us. Jane seemed to accept the change quite calmly and her room is lovely and overlooks the hills. She went to lunch with the other 40-odd residents and hopefully, will get to know the nurse assigned to her care and find other ladies to chat and be friendly with.

The family have believed for quite a while now that this would be the best place for her for the long term. Company, being well looked after, warm with regular home-cooked food and nursing and GP cover is certainly more beneficial to her than snoozing in the conservatory here and wondering where her husband has gone or wanting to go “home to mum and dad’s.”

I see Sarah’s written her most recent thoughts and l would like to thank most sincerely everyone of her friends who have sent their love to us all during Jane’s illness.

I have been up every day since her admission last Wednesday, and she seems quite settled. The care home manager and staff have been very accommodating and wallpapered the walls of the bedroom with wallpaper of my choice (a quick dash up to Laura Ashley’s sale prior to my slip), which is the same paper as we have on our bedroom wall at home. I am hoping the familiar pattern might offer Jane some comfort. I have also had a new chair delivered and they have agreed to put a new carpet and curtains in, at a date not too far in the future.

Sheila hung various clothes in the cupboard and drawers and Sarah and I took armfuls of photographs and personal belongings up over the weekend. The handyman is going to hang all the pictures on her walls this week. When there, we were asked to put some thought into what image we wanted for her bedroom door. ¬†Some residents have photos, some have cartoon pictures, some have a picture of themselves. After some deliberation, Sarah and I chose the Jack Vettriano image “The Singing Butler” that Jane loves. We have a large print of it in our hallway at home, as well as a smaller version in our dining room, so the fact it is a familiar image to Jane, as well as an image of a dancer was very apt.

Room

Sarah and I were very pleased with it.

It is very strange that Jane isn’t here with me. Very sad really.

God bless you all for your kind messages over the last 2 1/2 – 3 years.

8 thoughts on “The Day Has Come

  1. Love reading these blogs although they do make me teary! Love the “something went” quote which im sure you heard many times as Doctor T. You have all done the best for Jane and she is clearly very loved. My Auntie had the same condition and my Uncle found it so hard at first. They even kept telling him to go home and do the gardening or something! It will get easier over time – but you might find that hard to believe just yet xxx

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    1. Thank you Ellen for your kind and loving thoughts. With rest, some medication and physiotherapy has made life much easier. Jane has settled and even when Sarah and I went up a few days ago she was dancing with one of the carers in one of the sitting rooms to some Scottish dance music ! It will take some months for both of us to adjust to our now different “environments”. Jane hopefully content with a simple life with her carers and nurses and 40 other residents and me here feeling rather guilty, perhaps a little lonely but with my gorgeous miniature schnauzer pup. I’ll be able to see our children and g. kids more often and improve my golf ! A really hard decision but now the correct one we all believe. We all love you and miss you my love. x

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  2. I am so sad for you all. While both of my parents have dementia, they are in their 80s, so it is more expected – though still hard to accept and deal with. It is so cruel for Jane to have been affected at such a young age. Wishing all of you all the very best as you settle into your new homes/lives. And wishing you a speedy recovery from your back injury. xx

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    1. Thank you Helen for your lovely comments. I’m much better now and Jane is settled in nicely into her new surroundings. Love from all of us x Stephen.

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    1. There is only one silly/stupid man in the U.S. and we know who that is ! All the rest of you and your fellow country men and women are just wonderful. Jane has settled in now and I have improved with medication and physiotherapy. Thank you for all your lovely comments over the years. Love to you and your family – Stephen.

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